Channel Hopping with the X men
by Oracles Maiden
Summary: Demented madness when X men Muses get control of the remote
1. Muse Magic

Channel hopping with the X men

Right, first a note to say that all X men related characters belong to Marvel not to me, sadly. 

**This story is based on conversations between myself and Anything But ordinary3 and involves her characters and mine as well as representations of both myself and her. Thanks mate for letting me use your toys as well as your face.   
Mel and Ash belong to Anything but Ordinary3's "Retribution X" Series. Lizzie and Digital belong to My "Misfit" story- check them both out! Logan may belong to Marvel but we've ruined him! **

**Happy reading! **

We start this tale in the spacious living room of one of Retribution X's prestigious authors, Oracles Maiden. A large white sofa sits directly in front of a rather large television with a cable box and video recorder underneath it. The room strangely for this house is silent and empty of people. I said people but not Muses. On the floor sit four, foot high people. All look very sullen.

Mel Muse: How long have they been out without us?

Logan Muse: rawr!

Ash Muse: Four hours. 

Digital Muse: I hope they bring us back sheep. 

All Muses Look at Digital strangely

Logan Muse: Annoyed RAWR!

Ash Muse: I can understand why Ellie leaves me behind; I mean she's working and she doesn't want him scaring off the customers… 

Logan Muse: Rawr.

Ash Muse: But why does Oracle Leave you behind?

Mel Muse: Says that we're an inconvenience when it comes to looking for a job. Says that Digit scares them so much that she has to leave the store and never go back. 

Digital Muse: Hey I have an idea!

Mel Muse: Does it have anything to do with riding the dog again?

Digital Muse: Thinks for a second, then Quietly I'll just keep quiet. 

Ash Muse: And its not as if there's much work for us anymore. I mean Retribution X is coming to an end in a bit. 

Mel Muse: Bye bye annual wage packet. 

Ash Muse: And Misfit's almost completely written… it just needs to be put up. 

Digital bursts into tears

Ash Muse: So we're on the Dole. 

All sat suddenly even more depressed, except for Logan Who simply says…

Logan Muse: Rawr.

Sound of fast chattering from Digital, we turn to find that the young muse is talking to a wall

Mel Muse: What in the Blue hell are you doing?

Digital Muse: Sheepishly Oracle said to me that the wall came up with better ideas than I did… so I'm asking the wall what ideas he can come up with. 

Logan Muse Runs at the wall and goes head first into it, leaving his muscular back legs kicking behind him

Logan Muse: Faintly from the other side of the wall Rawr?

Mel and Ash look at each other and shake their heads in disbelief as Digital now is talking to Logan's arse looking for inspiration.

Mel Muse: So what the hell are we going to do? Cause I don't want to be unemployed again. 

Ash Muse: come up with some more ideas for fics for them I suppose.

both sit in stony silence as they begin to think

20 minutes later 

Both sit there still unable to come up with ideas… then

Mel muse: Excitedly OOOHHH OHHH!!!

Ash Muse: Yep?

Mel Muse: Suddenly realising Oh not a story idea. I just remembered Oracle Left her hair tongs on her sister's bed. Probably burning down the top of the house. Laughs

Ash Muse: Laughs, then uncomfortably stops Ummm Mel? Isn't Oracles Sisters room directly above the room in which we are all sitting?

Mel Muse: Thinks for a second… then Um… I think I'll just nip upstairs for a second. Slowly walks to the door… then legs it.

Digital Muse: Can I smell burning?

Sound of Mel Muse on the stairs

Mel Muse: Through the wall Hey Wolvie.

Logan Muse: Through wall Rawr.

Ash Muse: None of this helps us come up with ideas…

Movement can be seen in the pot plant behind Ash Muse

Voice: Um… May I give some help?

Ash turns round shocked 

Ash Muse: Who in the hell are you?

Lizzie Muse steps out from behind the pot plant

Lizzie Muse: Only your friendly neighbourhood Movie Muse.

Ash Muse: Disappointedly Oh it's you. 

Lizzie Muse:  Ahhh why the sad face. I'm here to help after all.

Ash Muse: Why would you of all people want to help us? We take valuable resources away from the production of Movie fic. 

Lizzie Muse: Well lets just say that I have a soft spot for Retribution X. coughs, now lower And-if-you-don't-exist-then-Misfit-will-become-a-lot-more-happy-and-funny-and-I'll-be-condemned-to-the-backstairs-linen-closet-because-Lizzie-has-demons-more-than-you'll-ever-know!

Ash Muse: not impressed Ah… your Oracles Angst Muse.

Lizzie Muse: Spot on.

Ash Muse: So what are you going to do? Anything you come up with will be Angst-y and so unusable by us. 

From the ceiling can be heard loud thumps and screaming as Mel Muse hurls herself at the fire.

Mel Muse: Muffled from upstairs Damn you fire! Damn you all the way to hell.

Logan muse: Still stuck in the wall Rawr.

Lizzie Muse: Do you really think that this lot could come up with a decent idea between them? Do you think that any of them can actually count up to 5 without help?

Digital Muse: Hey I can! Look… 1, 2, 26, 47, 9, 5. See! Sticks out tongue at Lizzie.

Lizzie Muse: Clapping sarcastically Yes, good girl Digital maybe tomorrow you can tie your shoelaces without getting your hair caught in the knot. 

Digital Muse: Happily We can dream.

Ash Muse: Coughing loudly to bring us back to the point You were saying about how we were going to use your ideas?

Lizzie Muse: Not my Ideas. Your ideas.

Ash muse looks at her dumbstruck before grabbing the collar of Lizzie's suede jacket and pushing her against the wall, sending Logan Muse flying out the other side

Logan Muse: Weakly rawr?

Ash Muse: I HAVE TOLD YOU MOVIE GIRL WE HAVE NO IDEAS! WE HAVE NO HOPE OF CREATING IDEAS.

Lizzie Muse: Of course you do. You just have to use your muse magic. 

Ash Muse: Muse Magic?

Lizzie Muse: Oh come on, you must have heard of Muse Magic? The thing that makes all us muses Magical. Helps us give other people their ideas. Don't tell me you don't know how you've given Ellie all of her ideas. 

Ash Muse: Well… I… Um… SHUT UP YOU!

Lizzie Muse: Look just concentrate on what you want to do and something magical will happen. 

Ash Muse: Letting go of Lizzie Muse Really? You're not mucking with my head again? 

Lizzie Muse: Would I do that to you?

Ash Muse: Thinking for a second Um… nods

Lizzie Muse: Just trust me this once. This will work. As long as you believe in Muse Magic. 

Lizzie Disappears in a cloud of powder blue smoke

Digital Muse: AAAAHHHHHH DEEEEEEMMMMMMONNN!! Runs and hides behind the plant pot where she sees a spider. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!! runs away from the Plant pot just as an angry Logan Muse walks in the door. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AAAANNNNGGGRRRYYY LLOOGGANNN! Runs and cowers behind Ash

Logan Muse: Confused Rawr?

Ash Muse: Flicks Digital muse Shhh, we need to think… Looks at those assembled Ok I need to think. 

The door slams behind and Mel Muse stand there with her back hard against it, gasping for breath.

Mel Muse: The fires out… realising… Did I say Fire I meant Puppy. Really big puppy. With… Fire in his… Ok lets get off the subject. Just out of interest do you think Oracles Sister actually liked that sum 41 poster that's on her ceiling. Not that anything's happened to it. But say something had?

Ash Muse: ignoring her What do the two of them do when they get in? 

Mel Muse: Not hurt the muses cause they burnt down the top floor of the house? Not that I have…

Logan Muse: Rawr?

Digital Muse: Dance the hula while eating cheese?

Ash Muse: No! They watch television. So we use Muse Magic to make the Television Give them ideas.

Mel Muse: Muse Magic?

Ash Muse: It's what makes us give them ideas in the first place all right. Just hand me the remote. 

The muses work together to get the remote off the sofa and onto the floor. However the sound of a door unlocking is heard.

Ellie: from out of the room Guys we're back.

Oracle: From out of the room Musey, Musey, Musey, Muse-y!

Mel Muse: Panicking They're home!!!

Mel Muse runs round in a circle screaming, while Digital Muse bangs her head with her hand and screaming and Logan Muse Stands in the centre of the room saying…

Logan Muse: Rawr.

Ash Muse: bending down and touching the exposed batteries with her hands Come on Work your magic Musey!

There's a bright flash and all the muses are knocked off their feet just as Ellie and Oracle enter. They look at their muses strangely.

Ellie: What have you guys been up to? 

Muses: Nothing. 

Logan Muse: Rawr. 

**If you liked what you read please tell me! I don't know otherwise that you've been here… and I get lonely. **


	2. Let the channel hopping commence

Channel Hopping with the X men- Chapter 2

I reiterate, The X men belong to Marvel However I do own Digital and Lizzie, and Anything but Ordinary3 owns Mel and Ash. And I suppose we own our own images so they're ours too. 

Please seek out "Misfit" and the "Retribution X" series for any explanations that are needed… however I don't really think they are necessary to understand, however a review of these two might be nice!

Enjoy!

Oracle and Anything have taken their places on the sofa and kicked off both of their shoes

Ash Muse: What's that smell?

Ellie: Who doesn't really care Probably Logan.   
  


Logan Muse: Rawr? 

Mel Muse: Are you sure it isn't your feet?

Oracle: Not really caring No, Its Logan. Logan Smells. 

Logan Muse: Confused Rawr?

Mel Muse: Can we watch television with you? We've been good while you've been out!

Ellie: without thought No. 

Ash Muse: You didn't even think about it.

Ellie: Ok I'll think about it pauses, obviously not in thought however Still No. 

Oracle: Oh come on Ellie. They've been in that dirty corner of yours all week. Let them have a little fun. 

Ellie: hey at least my muses have a dirty corner. You keep yours in your school bag. 

Oracle: Only during the week. On the weekend they have free reign of my cupboard. 

Mel Muse: Whispering to Ash Yes, and we get the pleasure of fighting the green slimy things that live there.  

Oracle Leans down and shocks her with her cattle prod 

Oracle: You should be glad I don't keep you in my knickers draw Like Mini Maiden does to her muses…

Cut to The remnants of Mini maidens room and her small knickers draw which shakes violently, from inside we hear…

Bobby Muse: Inside the draw Hello? Is anybody there? Its hot in here and it smells funny. 

There is a high-pitched scream 

Bobby Muse: With authority Back Panties. Back. 

Back to the living room 

Oracle: Did anybody hear that? 

Muses: No. 

Oracle: Goes to stand Well maybe I should just check…

Mel Muse: No. Don't go upstairs! Suddenly calm I mean, we all heard nothing so why should you waist your time killing me… I mean going up stairs.

Oracle: Suspicious You're acting strange… and by strange I mean stranger than normal. 

Mel Muse: laughing insanely HHHHHHHAAAA HHHHHAAAA HHAAAA HHHAAAA!!!!

Everyone looks at her 

Mel Muse: Stops Laughing I didn't burn your house down!

Oracle and Ellie ignore her

Ellie: Oh you can watch!

Muses: Yey!

Logan Muse: Rawr?

Ellie reaches down to the floor and picks up the control. She pushes the button and the television goes on. A blue test card is up with a beacon with rays spreading out from it 

Stuck up announcer lady: Welcome to XMMN. Broadcasting on air all day, every day through 67 different channels. We need a few minutes to configure ourselves to your system so during that time here's a little music.

Muzak version of Copacabana starts to play and Digital starts to dance mindlessly 

Ellie: I didn't know we got this in our package. 

Oracle: Must be one of those test 'em out weekends.

Ellie: What the hell is it? 

Oracle: I don't know. Probably porn. 

Logan Muse: Rubbing hands together Rawr!

Ash Muse: Well aren't you going to change the channel? 

Oracle: Yeah. Ellie change the channel. 

Ellie: No… Can't… find… energy… to… push… button. Muse… will… have… to…

Ash Muse: No. Do it yourself. 

Ellie: Mel do it…

Mel Muse: Maybe you should give this channel a chance. 

Oracle: Ha! Mel watches Porn!

Ellie: Ha! Your Muse watches Porn. Starts Laughing 

Oracle: Laughing Ha! My Muse watches Porn. Stops abruptly Hey!

Shocks Mel Muse with cattle prod 

Oracle: Stop watching Porn!!! 

Ellie and Ash snigger 

Oracle: Hey! You two can't talk. Logan's addicted to the stuff. 

Logan Muse is sat directly in front of the TV with his back to them 

Logan Muse: Slow and Long RRRRRAAAAAWWWWRRRR!

The television beeps and changes to an animated cartoon. 

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A plastic prison is on screen, its plastic walkway is unfolding to the door and a man in a wheelchair is being pushed into the room. The theme tune begins to play

Ala Pinky and the Brain 

They're Magneto and The Prof

Yes, Magneto and The Prof

One is a Madman

The other's a Boff.

These proud brave mutant men

Will drive you round the bend

Oh god no!

It's Magneto and The Prof, Prof, Prof, Prof

Prof, Prof, Prof, Prof

Prof.

Before each night is done

Their plan will be unfurled

By the dawning of the sun

They'll destroy or save the world.

They're Magneto and The Prof

Yes, Magneto and The Prof

This show is an insight

To their everlasting fight

To prove their Mutant worth

They might destroy the Earth

Oh god NO!

It's Magneto and The Prof, Prof, Prof, Prof

Prof, Prof, Prof, Prof

Magneto leaps in front of the camera with a strange look on his face and his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. Xavier behind him holds his head in his hands and shakes his head

Magneto: Narf!

cut to them playing chess in the plastic prison. 

Magneto: Say Charles. What are you going to do tonight? 

Xavier: Same thing I do every night Magneto. Stop you from taking over the world. 

Magneto: Oh Right. Narf!

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Cut back to stunned Muses and People 

Oracle: What the hell was that?

Digital Muse: That wasn't porn!

Logan Muse: Angrily RAWR!!!

Ellie: Calm down Wolf man. I'll buy you a mag on the way home. 

Mel and Ash Muses start to tiptoe towards the door. However Ellie spots them 

Ellie: I'm guessing you had something to do with this? 

Ash Muse: Heh Heh! I did nothing. 

Mel Muse: I'm sticking to her story.

Digital Muse: As am I. We certainly didn't use muse magic to turn your TV into an idea giving machine to keep us in our jobs.

Logan Muse: Rawr. 

Oracle and Ellie sit stunned 

Oracle: O… k? I'm going to the toilet. Don't finish killing them till I come back, I wanna see them pay too. 

Oracle gets up, leaves the room and faintly the sound of footsteps on the stairs can be heard. 

Ellie: So I have to watch Holby City later with Blob and Dazzler playing doctors and nurses in it!! I hate Life… especially my life in which you people turn my television into a way to get ideas from the cosmos. Although I must admit… Magneto and the prof is a pretty good idea….

Lizzie Muse appears in a cloud of light blue smoke. 

Lizzie Muse: I must admit it was one of my best. 

From upstairs a scream can be heard. 

Mel Muse: Oh no! She went to the upstairs toilet!

Mel Slides under the sofa. 

Oracle stomps Back into the room 

Oracle: WHICH ONE OF YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING MUSES BURNT DOWN MY SISTERS ROOM? 

Muses Think for a second. 

Digital Muse: Mel. 

Ash Muse: Mel. 

Logan Muse: Rawr!

Lizzie Muse: I don't wanna really get involved but… Mel.  

Oracle: AND WHERE CAN I FIND HER?

Ash Muse: Points to under the sofa

Lizzie Muse: Points to under the sofa 

Ellie: Points to under the sofa 

Digital Muse: Points into her mouth 

Logan Muse: Points at the ceiling 

Oracle: Thinks for a second I think I'll take the opinion of the 3 people with braincells. 

Digital Muse: Yey! Logan she finally trusts us!

Oracle: Mel, come out here please…

Mel squeezes back out from under the sofa 

Digital Muse: disappointed Ahhhh she doesn't. 

Logan Muse: Disappointed Rawr.

Oracle: Mel, is it true you burnt my sisters room to cinders? That you destroyed almost everything she cares about and kept her muses locked in their eternal prison of her knickers draw? 

Mel Muse: In my defence I was scared of opening the draw, there are some scary things in there. 

Ash Muse: Including the muses themselves!

Oracle: Oh don't worry Muses. I just wanted to shake your hand. God knows I've wanted to burn down my sis's room on more than one occasion. 

shakes Mel Muses Hand. This results in Mel being shook by her hand up and down in the air. 

Mel Muse: Ok dizzily I think I'm going to be sick!

Mel Muse Runs and throws up in the pot plant. 

Logan: rawr?

**If you liked please review, I'd love to hear from you. **


	3. Surprise attack

**Channel Hopping with the X men- chapter 3**

Again I tell all of you the x men do not belong to me. All I own is Lizzie and Digital from my "Misfit" Story (which might get finished soon) and anything but ordinary3 owns Ash and Mel so don't make fun. Anything also owns a certain psycho that appears later on. Renascence pictures owns… ahem the character that we refer to as Big voice PROJECT NEMESIS! Little voice that is all.   

Mel Muse has just finished cleaning up her own sick. 

Ash Muse: So did that give you any brilliant ideas? Or are we just wasting our time? 

Oracle: They were quite good… however I don't think I'll be writing that just yet.

Ellie: I agree with her. 

Mel Muse: carrying away mop and bucket while Digital and Wolvie hide behind a door pinching their noses. In other words they were rubbish. 

Digital Muse: Can we have popcorn! 

Mel Muse: Angrily NO WE CANNOT HAVE POPCORN! 

Digital Muse: Can we have nuttella then! I love nuttella especially when it's frozen solid and hanging over Logan's head. 

Logan Muse: nodding RAWR!    

Ash's ears prick up!

Ash Muse: OH DEAR GOD GUYS HIDE!!!

Ellie: Not understanding why What are you yammering about?

Ash Muse: Frantically DUCK AND COVER! DUCK AND COVER!!!

All do as she says, except Logan who stands in the middle of the room looking around stupidly 

Logan Muse: Rawr?

Digital rugby tackles him to the floor as he wiggles, trying to escape her grasp. Lizzie looks around from on top of her pot plant. 

Lizzie Muse: Sniffing the air Something wicked this way comes! 

She disappears in a cloud of Powder blue smoke 

Ash Muse: Could you please stop doing that! It stinks enough in here as it is! 

Mel Muse: Sorry. If I knew she was going to have to do a vanishing act anytime soon then I would have controlled my motion sickness. 

Digital Muse: Holding nose, so very high pitched And Logan wouldn't have farted!

Logan muse: Embarrassed Rawr.

Ellie: From under her arms which are clasped over her head To quote Churchill "What the hell are we doing down here?" 

Oracle: From under her arms too Churchill never said that!

Ellie: I'm sure he must have said that at some point in his life. 

Digital Muse: Yeah… Like when he was on the toilet or something. 

all look at Digital like she's a freak (Which she is!)

Digital Muse: looks at them, then suddenly ala the sea gulls in "Finding Nemo" Mine!

Logan Muse: Trying to join in Rawr!

Digital Muse: Mine!

Oracle: Will you two shut the NC-17 up! 

Both dejectedly sink to the floor again. 

Ellie: what are we doing down here. What is going on!

Ash and Mel muses: SHHHHH!

There is a moments silence then finally the sound of hurried footsteps can be heard and frantic banging on the door 

Mans Voice: Oh God Please! Please someone Help me! I'm dying out here! Please, Please help me! Please!

Digital Muse: in thought Do you think he needs help?

Mel slaps her around the head   

Digital Muse: No, your right Mel. Probably just wants a sandwich. 

She goes to get up, but Mel pulls her back down listening with a look of fear on her face

Mans Voice: Still pleading and close to tears Please I'll give you anything you want just let me in! Please, My antique pocket watch?

Mel goes to get up but Ash pulls her back down

Mans Voice: Tickets to the Bon jovi concert tonight…?

Ash leaps up but Mel pulls her back down 

Mans voice: Now crying the half eaten Cheese and pickle sandwich in my inside pocket!?!

Digital jumps up and all the muses dog pile her.

Mans Voice: Oh god here she comes, I'm going to die! I'm going to die.

There is deathly silence after a moment of screaming… then the doorbell rings 

Mel Muse: Near tears Oh dear god!

Ash Muse: It cannot be!

From outside we hear the voice of the devil herself 

Kat Muse: In a singsong voice Hello! Can someone let me in. Someone left a unconscious man on the step again… which I had nothing to do with! 

Mel bursts into tears and has to be comforted by Ash 

Ellie: Biting her lip If we ignore her she might go away. 

Oracle: Watch the t.v. it may take our mind of her…   

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Announcer: Why not come on a BLIND DATE! With your host… GAMBIT!

Gambit bounces onto the stage to rapturous applause 

Gambit: Welcome to da show where I, Gambit try to fix up a hot chere with a man who is less attractive then me.  I'd like you to meet… Clarise.

At the top of the stairs a woman in a high pair of high heals totters down the stairs in a miniscule red dress and her long blonde hair falling to her ass  

Gambit: Well hello Clarise… watches her ass as she passes and sits down on a stool So how can we help you? 

Clarise: In a very Valley girl voice  I Need a boyfriend? 'Cause, Like, Shantel said that my Prada handbag didn't Like match my Jimmy Choo Shoes. So I like said no way, and she said yehha. So now I have to get a boyfriend that matches either the shoes or the bag to complete my outfit.

Gambit: Sensible reason chere. Now shall we see the hunks that we have picked for you that are not hotter than Gambit. 

We go behind the screen to find it is not yet lit.

Host Gambit: Off screen Number one will you please tell us a little bit about your ugly self. 

A spotlight lights up number one who is… Gambit again! He sits smugly on the stool looking alluringly at the camera. 

Gambit: Who are you calling ugly monkey man. The name is Remy Le Beau Clarise. And if you take me on your blind date tonight then I'll make sure you have all the pretty things I can sneek out of the store in my pockets. 

Host Gambit: Off Stage I don't know about the monkey comment but you sound a pretty handsome guy. Lets move on to repulsive number 2.

The camera pans over to number 2 and the spotlight come up on him. He is… Gambit, but this time he is wearing… a hat! 

Gambit in hat: Who you calling repulsive, revolting? My name is Rem… Remembering Ha. Did I say Rem. I mean Kev. Kev… Kapouski. Kev Kapouski, sorry I was so put off by the awesome beauty of my fellow competitor.

Gambit: Why thank you friend, you ain't that hideous yourself. 

Gambit in hat: Hello Clarise. If you pick me to go on a blind date with you… I'll make sure I don't jab you with my stick… unless you ask me too.

Host Gambit: Off stage Well man, I'm sorry. In the dim light you looked terrible, but in the light you're a hunk. Now lets see what number three, the disgusting number three, has to offer a beautiful lady like you. 

The camera again pans over to darkness then the lights go up to reveal. Gambit… Again… now in a very fake moustache that covers his lips and a fake monocle.

Moustache Gambit: In a very fake English accent Well Hello there Clarise. Hello there Man who smells like a used toilet. I say. My name is Duke Henklebert Risingguard the forth. And if I had the privilege of taking you on a Blind date I'd get you away from all these common French men and take you to a place with a little more class, I say. 

Clarise: Off stage And where would that be? 

Moustache Gambit: I don't know, is there a McDonalds in the surrounding area? 

Camera cuts back to Host Gambit and Clarise where he is standing exceptionally close to her 

Host Gambit: Well Clarise those are the men you have to make your choice from. And the time has come. 

Clarise: Confuse But I thought I got to ask them some questions, Like, before I had to make the decision? 

Host Gambit: On the original show maybe, but not on mine. Choose!

Clarise: Well Like its really difficult to, you know, choose, because they all sound like each other, Like? Like one of them's doing a bad British Accent, and the other two are pretending to, like, not be the other one? 

Host Gambit: Well Clarise, I'll tell you the truth 'cause Gambit never lie. They all are the same person. Me. Because you're so hot I had to do this, plus I never thought you'd touch Gambit with a ten foot pole if you found out he was a mutant. 

Clarise: You're, Like, a Mutant. She stops dead still, then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She screams and legs it out of the studio 

Host Gambit: How come this happens every week? 

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The Muses and their masters look at each other bewildered 

Ellie: Shaking her head Nah, don't think I'll be making that into a story.  

Kat muse: From behind the closed window OOOOOHHHH STORY!!! CAN I BE IN IT!!!

All jump back in shock. Mel and Ash grab hold of each other as do Oracle and Ellie. Logan grabs hold of the sofa leg and makes purring noises. Digital however grabs hold of herself.

Digital Muse: Ahhh someone's grabbed me!… If whoever's got a hold of me doesn't let go in the next ten seconds I will be forced to bite them…

No one actually pays any attention to her as she starts counting. 

Ellie: In shock Oh my god, she knows we're at home! 

Oracle: In shock Oh my god she knows where I live!!!

Mel and Ash Muses: OH My god! She's had her highlights done!

Kat Muse: Ahhh you guys noticed! 

Digital has reached 9 

Digital Muse: 10! Right that's it mister! Bites left hand Aooowwww!!! In obvious pain SOMEONE BIT ME! SOMEONE HAD BETTER OWN UP BEFORE I COUNT TO TEN OR I'M GOING TO KICK THEM SO HARD!!! RIGHT 1…

Still no one is actually paying her attention. 

Ellie: Right desperate times call for desperate measures.

Mel Muse: Dismayed You don't mean…

Ellie: Yes I do… we're moving to Antarctica. 

Logan Muse: Happily Rawr! He pulls out his winter hat and plonks it on his head. 

Oracle: Apprehensively Um I was actually thinking more of using really extreme action… Like In hushed tones Project Nemesis!

All take a collective breath in except Digital who has again reached 9 

Digital Muse: 10! RIGHT NOW I AM REALLY PISSED OFF! 

She kicks herself in the head like a cancan dancer. And falls over, half conscious

Digital Muse: Laughing Ha ha I fall down!

Finally they notice her 

Ellie: Stroking her chin hum… right…

Mel Muse: Anxious But Project Nemesis is extremely dangerous… especially because I burnt down his lair! 

Oracle: Like the petit stupid one said, desperate time… 

Ellie: Thinking are you implying that I'm short and stupid?

Oracle: Not implying, I am flat out telling you to your face that fact.

Ellie: Fine just checking. Looking around someone had better break out the riot gear before we let him loose, Mini Maiden isn't here to help control him so he may get violent with us…

Ash Muse: Unless we flatter him senseless. I'll get the gear! she runs out into the other room 

Oracle: And someone had better go and get him, give him the low down and all that. 

All eyes except Digitals focus on Mel 

Mel Muse: I ain't going anywhere. 

Ellie: CHLOROPHORM HER!!!!

Everyone makes a dash for Mel except Digital who has spotted a dust bunnie and is chasing it around the room. Mel manages to break the back window and make a dash for freedom

Oracle: Right then, we'll send someone with the same amount of brain cells as him. 

Logan gets up and shrugs before starting out of the room and up the stairs. 

Digital Muse: Still bouncing Bun-ny Bun-ny Bun-ny!

Oracle: With hand to head Why oh why did I create her?

Kat Muse: From outside Come on let me in! Its cold out here and I have nothing to burn… except these pretty flowers The sound of burning can be heard 

Oracle: With a whimper Mums roses. She's going to kill me!

Upstairs a faint knocking can be heard on a wooden instrument… Mini maidens guitar 

Logan Muse: Rawr, Rawr Rawr Ra-Rawr!

there is the muffled voice of a man and then… 

Logan Muse: Rawr Rawr. 

muffled Voice 

Logan Muse: Rawr. 

Then footsteps coming down the stairs 

Ellie: Quick Ashley get the riot gear in here quick! 

Ash appears with helmets, Clear plastic shields and police batons. Quickly she distributes them between them. 

Ash Muse: Remember hit then think, hit THEN think!

Oracle: DO YOU WANT US TO DIE!

The sound of a chainsaw can be heard revving up and Logan runs into the room Whimpering 

Logan Muse: whimpering rawr!

Then through the door comes the muscle rippling, torn shirt wearing, chainsaw wielding Muse of death himself. Mini Maidens Horror Muse… Ashley J. Williams Evil dead's main honcho  

Ashley J. Muse: What in the hell was the whimpering puppy dog trying to say? And why was it so important as to wake me from my nap!

Ash Muse: From behind her shield KAT ATTACK!! KAT ATTACK!!

Ashley J. Sighs and goes to the door

Ashley J. Muse: Leave this to me!

The sound of the front door opening can be heard followed by a feminine scream… From Ashley! 

Ashley J. Muse: DEAR GOD GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF ME!

Mel can be seen outside in the garden making the sign of the cross on herself while praying hard.

Ash Muse: To the others Remember if she gets this far its already too late! Cyanide capsules are hidden in the lining of the pillow… please form an orderly queue!  

Digital runs and latches on to the pillow and starts gnawing on it

Ash Muse: You actually have to OPEN the pillow to poison yourself!

Digital Muse: Stopping gnawing who said I wanted to kill myself? Continues sucking on the pillow 

Logan Muse: Cowering in terror Rawr!

Mel sticks her head in through the door 

Mel Muse: Worried Is it over? Can we burry him yet? 

There is silence… then slowly the door opens… Ash walks in, limping because…

All collected: Oh… My… God…!!!

Attached to Ashley J. Muses Leg is the red haired monster herself looking quite contented 

Ashley J. Muse: Worrying and shaking his leg frantically Can someone get this freak off of me!!!

All look dejected in their riot gear. Logan stamps his foot angrily… his foot goes through the wood floor and he starts to cry, fed up 

Logan Muse: Through tears Rawr!!!  


End file.
